Yes, I know this sounds on the Bynes end of the mental spectrum (soz Bynes, get well soon). But when I read about Zayn and Perrie’s engagement this week I wasn’t all ‘Oh IDIOTS’, but ‘Ah that’s cute’ and actually ‘Why the hell not?’ Because as a 30-something who has never been engaged, not once, not even a little bit (WTF?) – I don’t think age necessarily has a whole lot to do with getting it right.
When I was 20 *casts mind back to the dim and distant past* I was on the cusp of meeting my best boyfriend ever – um, let’s call him Zayn. He was tall (super tall), hot (had actually modelled!), intelligent (had law degree) and fun (we had a lot of this). We fell massively in love, spent every day together and at the one year stage he suggested getting engaged (he was going abroad to work – plans he’d made before we met). I said we were too young, we split, met other people, and despite a couple of near-miss reunions (think One Day without the super-sad ending) never quite managed to make it work. And even now – and some ace boyfriends later – I still look back and think ‘Probably had it right back then’. Which would have made things a LOT easier relationship-wise.
The thing I didn’t realise was, the older you get, the harder it is to settle down. You’re less instinctive, more guarded, and with every relationship, carry a tiny bit more baggage around with you. With every year, you get more – not less – fussy about what you want and who you’re looking for. While you understand relationships more, you’re far less likely to take a ‘Fuck it’ approach – and with being overly measured, can risk missing out on something that’s actually brilliant.
Of course, there’s every chance that Zayn and Perrie won’t work out. They’re apart a lot, they’re both super busy, and there was that whole sleeping with a waitress business (allegedly etc). NOT IDEAL. And if it doesn’t – along with the whole horrendousness of their first big break-up *casts mind back to dim and distant past, shudders* , there will also be a load of unhelpful people saying ‘I told you so’. ANNOYING. But I still think it’s worth an excitingly loved-up shot.
As for me, I’m going to apply some of their impulsiveness to my own relationships. And if it goes wrong, at least I’ve got the years of hard-earned break-up experience to deal with it.
Would you get engaged at 20? Tweet me @WWLauraTweet