We’re not even going to apologise for it. Here are five reasons why:
1) Far from hypersexualising an entire generation, she’s pretty much a one-woman abstinence machine. Because flailing your (weirdly grey) tongue around and touching yourself with a giant foam finger: NOT SEXY. And should teen girls rush to copy her, they’re actually less likely to attract male attention. Unless it’s of the professional medical variety.
2) She’s made shit-to-average dancers worldwide feel ENTIRELY AWESOME. Strutting around with your arms in the air – got it. Banging your head and clapping your hands – yep, on that. Randomly kicking your leg in the air – uh huh, nailed it. It’s like she got me to drink the contents of the VMA bar then choreograph her whole routine. In a booze-coma.
3) She totally stole Gaga’s limelight/publicity/oxygen. Even the Smith Family Shockface LG had fully earned by titting around in a G-string was wrongly attributed to Miley. *Gaga shakes fist at sky, fires entire Haus of Gaga staff for failing to come up with Foam Finger Frottage*
4) She’s single-handedly eradicated hangover shame FOREVER. Stage-danced with your top off? Vomited on a bouncer? Lapdanced your actual boss? Just watch a few Miley VMA gifs and you’ll feel a million per cent better about yourself.
5) This year’s Halloween outfit is SORTED. But you might want to buy your ginormo prosthetic tongue now. Avoid the rush.
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