What Would Laura Do? Love Miley Cyrus

We’re not even going to apologise for it. Here are five reasons why:

1) Far from hypersexualising an entire generation, she’s pretty much a one-woman abstinence machine. Because flailing your (weirdly grey) tongue around and touching yourself with a giant foam finger: NOT SEXY. And should teen girls rush to copy her, they’re actually less likely to attract male attention. Unless it’s of the professional medical variety.

2) She’s made shit-to-average dancers worldwide feel ENTIRELY AWESOME. Strutting around with your arms in the air – got it. Banging your head and clapping your hands – yep, on that. Randomly kicking your leg in the air – uh huh, nailed it. It’s like she got me to drink the contents of the VMA bar then choreograph her whole routine. In a booze-coma.

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Strap-on teddy bears just out of shot

3) She totally stole Gaga’s limelight/publicity/oxygen. Even the Smith Family Shockface LG had fully earned by titting around in a G-string was wrongly attributed to Miley. *Gaga shakes fist at sky, fires entire Haus of Gaga staff for failing to come up with Foam Finger Frottage*

4) She’s single-handedly eradicated hangover shame FOREVER. Stage-danced with your top off? Vomited on a bouncer? Lapdanced your actual boss? Just watch a few Miley VMA gifs and you’ll feel a million per cent better about yourself.

5) This year’s Halloween outfit is SORTED. But you might want to buy your ginormo prosthetic tongue now. Avoid the rush.

(Laura One)

Have you got love for Miley? Tweet us @WWLauraTweet

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