About twenty trillion relationship light years ago (estimate) I was in a relationship with a guy who really didn’t want to be there. He’d withdrawn emotionally, was cold physically and no longer said ‘I Love You’. I tried to break it off a couple of times, but for some reason (and not because he wanted to make things work) he wouldn’t let me. So we struggled on miserably together. Until I saw some photos from my birthday party. There we were, standing behind the decks together, with me smiling widely and him looking ENTIRELY MISERABLE. His face couldn’t have said ‘I don’t want to be here’ more without the aid of an actual marker pen. And clocking that depressingness captured on actual camera was mortifying (although ultimately the brutal wake up call I needed to break up with him once and for all).
And this is kind of how I feel every time I see a photo of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth together (although admittedly that doesn’t happen all that often these days). While she still looks happy (ish), he looks slightly pained, like he’s secretly searching for an escape route. Preferably to a waiting helicopter. To a rocket. To Mars. Even Miley isn’t quite her usual sparky, wide-smiling, tongue-flashing self (not sure newly-serious-actor Liam approves of the tongue-flashing now).
Compare that to the chemistry-rammed pics of Miley and Harry Styles at the Teen Choice Awards. Firstly they look seriously happy and super-comfortable together (he has his arm wrapped round her super-taut bod, she has her hand resting lightly on his chest). Secondly, the sexual tension (currently lacking between Miley and Liam) is palpable. Lastly – how right are these two for each other RIGHT THIS SECOND NOW? While Miley and Liam have outgrown each other since getting together three years ago (she’s embraced her wild side and love of teeny clothing, while he’s gone all serious actor who leaves pre-Oscar bashes with January Jones :S) Harry and Miley are at the exact same reckless sexy partying stage that would make this pairing ENTIRELY BRILLIANT.
And apart from all the extreme fun they’d have (important), it would mean an end to the limpingly miserable, grindingly hopeless and essentially already over Miley/Liam SADFEST. And if anyone is going to get you over a disinterested ex, it’s a red-hot fling with Harry Styles. He should really be available on prescription.
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